Yes yes...I travel.
I live it and breathe it.
Well, I started to realize that there was 75% of this world that was unavailable to my explorations.
Why ? I hear you ask.
Well, my dears, because its underwater; and as wonderful and amazing as I am I have not yet developed gills (well except in this dream I had once but that's another blog)
...and so, not to let something as menial as that get in my way, I decided to get certified in SCUBA.
BTW the fun pics from diver friends and my sudsequent jealousy also had a smidgen to do with it :)
And so- a new chapter in my blog begins
ONE WEEK BEFORE CLASS
I pick up my "scuba packet" and start by watching the really cheesy video in which the boy and girl smile a lot, look serene and beautiful both in and out of water, and wear all the latest cool gear.
Im hooked !!!
I read the book too but all that physics, water pressure, Boyles law, lung overexpansion, tooth squeeze (ouch), and dive tables put me off....so i go back to the video and watch that again a few times instead.
Next I just have to look the part; so its off to Scuba Toys to get my gear.
Some things I HAVE to get for the class like the mask and fins...but these are rather boring compared to the wetsuits and gadgets.
I leave the store with a super cool neon yellow shorty and an underwater writing pad . YAYYYYYY
Ok so it wasn't entirely successful and I had to go back the next day to get the essentials. By now the guys there are midly amused/annoyed at me.
Its hard to tell but as I was comparing the 20th mask alongside my previous purchase they said,
"Ma'am is more about the fit than the coordinating colours "
Hey, Im new to this..Im not meant to know everything
...Two hours later I have a mask, fins, booties, snorkel all in great colour combination and they even up graded my dive bag for free so it matched....Arrrrrrr, nice boys :)
FIRST CLASS
Why we had to start at 8am I have no idea.
Don't scuba folk have a social life ??!!
Anyway, today's class started not in the water, as Id hoped, but in a classroom for most of the day going over that book (the one I hardly read)
Why oh why hadn't I studied it harder.
I quickly became the class dunce.
Not only that, but although no one else had their dive certification I was the only one that had NO experience diving.
Kerri...well she worked at a dive resort and had taken about 15 resort dives before.
Another girl...she was a marine biologist
Snorkeling with the kids in a 15x8 pool just didn't seem as impressive
And that book I hadn't read.....Not only were we supposed to know it but we were to be tested on it. We had to solve math problems relating to the dive tables, remember the theory names and know the pressure and volume in a beach ball under water !!??? (come on guys..is this really necessary !)
Oh crap.
I will tell you I passed the test !!
All I can say is the "diving buddy" system works above ground too. Thanks Kerri :)
IN THE WATER
Finally we hit the water...Granted its a swimming pool and not the ocean but Im ready.
It takes about forever to get all the gear on and learn what all the knobs and tubes do.
Which one do I breathe through again ??!!!
I wasn't nervous until now and suddenly that 6 feet of water seems daunting
..such a lot to remember before even entering the water and how do the instructors make putting fins on look so easy.
Its like a delicate ballet...turn this way ..do that...turn that way...do that and Ta daaaaaa....fully dressed and geared up.
I was not quite so glamorous, with a lot of half stumbles,grabbing my dive buddy, some "oh shits"... the damn tanks are so bloody heavy it feels like an elephant on my back.
Once in the water at least the weight on my back was eased....and under we go.
..and up I come again.
Is it meant to feel like this?
Is it meant to sound like that?
Are these bubbles normal?
Lets just say I didn't quite take to it like the duck to water I had thought.
Being a water baby all my life I thought this shit would just naturally but breathing under the water is a whole new ball game
...and who knew I was a "nose breather " ??!!!
That was before we even started all the tasks we had to learn.
"you mean already"
"Yes now"
"but..Im not ready to learn new stuff. I still mastering this breathing shit"
So here is where I learn that im crap at mask clearing. I mean REALLY crap. I mean panic the water hits my nose and head for the surface crap. Ho hum
With all the wonderful technology in the world why the hell do we have to learn to take a mask off underwater, put it back on underwater and empty the water from it UNDERWATER !!???
Come on...it would be so much easier just to have a button to do that job.
For Gods sake we have a machine down here to let us BREATHE under water ...you're telling me its too difficult to invent some button, drainer, plughole thingy for retards like me that can't do it !!
Well, by days end I was at least at a "no panic" "no head for the surface" stage so all was well. It still took me approx 12 snorts through my nose to empty the damn mask, but I considered the day a mild success.
DAY TWO
All day today was in the pool and though I learnt to see pretty good through a half water-full mask (too scared to clear it).
I managed all the other tasks..buddy breathing, Buoyancy control, and learning how to tell when the air ran out (ie can no longer breathe !!)
Huge lightening storms moved in and cut the class short but at least by now I was feeling fairly confident with the whole underwater thing.
OPEN DIVE WEEKEND
I passed !!!!!!!!!!!! Yayyyyyyy.
We spent the holiday weekend at lake Athens and somehow between the 4 open dives I managed to con Ted into letting me pass :)
I won't lie, it was quite tough but mainly it was tough because I was nervous. I had the worst cotton mouth as though Id smoked pot all weekend. (Not that I know the feeling of course..poetic license)
The worst thing was my hair. It turned green. Lovely lime green. Something to do with the chemicals or clay or other crap that we were floating in all day.Nice.
"Honeeeey yooouurrrr hayyyrrrr is briiiite greeeen" (they speak country out there)
Im not high maintenance but green hair I could do without. Luckily a few rinses with Lemon juice and I was back to the dirty blonde I am
But I did it..got though all the tasks and even managed to enjoy the diving by the end of it.
As karl wasn't diving he took in the "sights of Athens" ( !!??) by day; and joined us in the evening for campsite food and drinking. I know ...drinking. I had been so good before thinking I was sticking to the diving rules and them the dive master plies us with alcohol. Probably hoping I would pass out and stop going on about my green hair !
